“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” – Euripides
My first memories of friendship aren’t really memories, but photographs taken when I was very young. I can picture the photo in my head – my friend Julianna and I are about 2 years old, standing upright, buck naked in a kiddy pool. To me, these pictures are evidence of a friendship that would continue for a very long time. Along with our other friend Sara, we became inseparable – the 3 Amigos, the 3 Musketeers. I guess it was a tradition since our grandparents and parents were friends! Growing up with these two friends was always an adventure. We loved to pretend we were mermaids in the swimming pool, invented games like pool baseball, and created barbie fashion shows, went camping, and tortured family members by dragging them to N’Sync concerts. We were also budding filmmakers, making music videos and creating stories using Barbies. Sometimes we got so creative, we would put Ken’s head on Skipper’s body!
As we grew up, went to high school, and university, we didn’t have to see each other every day like we did when we were younger, to know that our friendship was still strong. We became sure of ourselves and who we wanted to be, and as a result we are different in many ways, but I knew I could always count on them to be by my side. For me, this is what friendship is all about. At 33, I don’t have many close friends. I spend most of my time with my husband, and together we have a very small circle of friends. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing because as Aristotle once said, “A friend to all is a friend to none.” In the age of social media, it’s all about how many ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ you have, but how important are those thousands of people on your lists? I think it is far better to have a smaller group of close friends because the bonds are tighter. These are people I can rely on and trust no matter what. They know me very well, and I know them. Nothing about our relationship is superficial.
When you’re young, it’s easy to find new friends. But when you’re older, your interests become much more specific as you learn to better understand yourself. As an adult, I think friendship is based more on shared values than interests. It’s also about support and understanding. It’s a cliche, but friends are very much like the family you choose. You really don’t have to see them all the time to know that they care for you. So this Valentine’s Day, extend the idea of love beyond that of a significant other to your friends, old and new. Embrace the love you have for each other and celebrate all the positive relationships in your life!
<3