Philosophy

On the meaning of life.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” – Albert Camus

The older I get, the more nihilistic I become. When I was younger I was so motivated to be the best I could be, whether at school or in the community. I was the epitome of “bright eyed and bushy tailed”. Now at 32, I find myself asking, “What’s the point?” As morbid as it sounds, we all die anyways. The universe doesn’t care about me; I’m no better than anyone else. At times I feel so insignificant in our vast universe, and while this can be depressing, I have actually found it to also be freeing. I joke with my students that I have an existential crisis every day as I ponder such thoughts constantly. Being stuck in a routine, as Albert Camus described with the myth of Sisyphus, can be tiring. I get up in the morning, go to work, come home, repeat, repeat, repeat. But like Camus said, we need to imagine Sisyphus happy. I need to find purpose in this seemingly mindless routine. So, what is life’s meaning? As an atheistic existentialist, I feel that my meaning cannot be dictated to me. I need to find my own meaning. While religion provides some people with a sense of comfort and hope, I feel that meaning can be found elsewhere. For me, relationships provide meaning. I have an incredible husband who I love more than anything in the world, and a supportive and caring family. Love and companionship, which can come in many forms, are important to me. It provides me with direction, motivation, and compassion. Art also gives meaning to my life. Whether it’s listening to music, performing in a play, or even keeping up with this blog, I need a creative outlet. Creativity allows for self understanding and expression. I also find meaning in science, as it provides me with answers to some of life’s big questions. And of course there’s philosophy, which forces me to question, wonder, and analyze. To quote Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Happiness is another important factor when considering the meaning of life. Greek philosopher Epicurus believed that we are only truly happy when we have companionship, freedom, and are living an analytical life. Money and material things can only make me happy for so long; it’s the other things that allow happiness to flourish. I don’t think it’s entirely bad to be hedonistic, but I don’t think it’s entirely good either. Eventually the party ends, and as my husband’s grandmother says, there aren’t any pockets in the coffin.

In the end, there is only one certainty in life – death. We are lucky to be alive. We only have one shot, so it’s important that we make the most of it. With reflection (and a dash of nihilism), we can learn to appreciate life more and discover how we can make it meaningful for ourselves. In terms of purpose, I’m still not exactly sure what mine is. Is it to teach? I’m not quite sure. Is it even necessary for me to find or have a purpose? To be honest, I can’t really answer that. What I do know is that meaning and purpose are subjective. It’s different for everyone. And while I am on this earth for a finite amount of time, it’s important for me to see the beauty that the world has to offer and to try to enjoy every moment, no matter how angry and bitter I sometimes feel. It may not be easy, but no one ever said life is.

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Fashion, Philosophy, Travel

Year in Review

“Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living.” – Soren Kierkegaard

2017 treated me well. If I were to sum it up in one word, it’d be “discovery”. This year I focused on a lot of self reflection, learning more about myself and the goals I hope to achieve. I also had the opportunity to travel twice this year, revisiting New York City, as well as exploring Croatia and Slovenia. Luckily, the only major drama in my life came in the form of theatre productions. I was behind the stage for Much Ado About Nothing, the play the high school I teach at put on, and was onstage for Vanya, Sonia, Masha, and Spike.

Now that it’s 2018, my resolution is to keep strength training (both physically and mentally), read more, and enjoy every moment!

Happy New Year! Cheers to a great year and an even better one ahead!

Celebrating my nephew’s first birthday | January 2017

High school production of Much Ado About Nothing | March 2017

Bearing the cold in NYC | March 2017

Going for the laughs in Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike | April 2017

Soaking up the views in Dubrovnik | July 2017

4th anniversary in Hvar | July 2017

Lounging in Lake Bled | July 2017

The blogging life in the great city of Detroit | August 2017

Twin Peaks: The Return | May – September 2017

Expressing my love of sushi on Halloween | October 2017

Enjoying the holiday season with my love | December 2017

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Philosophy

On teaching history.

“History is Philosophy teaching by example.” – Thucydides

Our lives are enmeshed in story. History is more than facts, names, and figures; it embodies the crucial stories that create and influence our lives. This, among other aspects, is why I have a deep passion for history. I originally gained a great interest in history during my years at high school, where I was fortunate to have a charismatic teacher who allowed students to explore history through a wide range of activities. I continued to explore my interest in history by enrolling at the University of Windsor in the Drama in Education and Community program with a Minor in History. I specifically chose this path because I knew I wanted to become an educator who uses active and participatory learning to teach history. Fast forward to today, and I am currently teaching a grade ten Canadian History course, the one that is mandatory for students to pass in high school. When I taught Career Studies, many students expressed that they thought history was the least important subject in school, and that it’s useless and won’t prepare them for a successful occupation. I either got that response or the cliche “history teaches us not to repeat past mistakes”. I disagree with both sentiments. Firstly, studying history allows one to develop transferable skills such as critical thinking, questioning, research skills, and analytical skills, as well as build empathy. All of these skills are essential no matter what path a student may take upon graduating high school. In terms of the cliche statement, if it were true, then we would be living in a completely different world.

As a teacher, I always strive to make learning fun for my students, no matter the subject. With history, though, I think it’s easy to make it enjoyable. Yes, there are notes and worksheets, but also so many wonderful opportunities to engage the students in debates, role playing, games, and simulations. History certainly does not have to be boring. According to Jacyntha England, author of Understanding and Representing Memory Through Drama: A Lesson Plan in Three Acts, using drama to teach history transforms students into creative and empowered individuals and brings them onto a journey where they are able to relate the world to themselves. By using active learning in the history classroom, students are also able to create their own meanings and interpretations of the facts presented to them.

Personally, I see that active learning and drama does indeed enhance the learning experience for students in the high school history classroom in a number of ways. Drama and active learning allows students to collaborate with their peers and discover new perspectives. It also forces students to think critically and shape their own opinions about history and connect it their own lives. Drama has students express themselves, whether they enjoy doing so or not, and lets them tackle issues hand-on, and reflect on their process. Incorporating drama and active learning into history is not simple, for it requires patience and perseverance, and must be brought in gradually to make students feel more comfortable. Drama is not acting, but doing; in the history classroom, it allows students to become active in their learning and construct their own meanings. I encourage all history teachers to try using dramatic techniques in their own classrooms, to model their own passion for history, and to have students actively explore the stories that create and influence their lives.

A special thank you goes out to my student Ronald Peter for snapping these pictures!

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Philosophy

On competition.

“Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.” – Bertrand Russell

It has been a little over a year since I started blogging, and while I really enjoy it, I find myself getting caught in the trap of being competitive and jealous. From “I wish I had what they had” to “I have to get more followers”, blogging has resurfaced the competitive nature in me. When I was younger I constantly felt the need to be the best, especially in the classroom. I wanted to be every teacher’s favourite student, and I had to have straight A’s. I wouldn’t even play a sport if I knew I wasn’t that good at it for fear of losing. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing; it made me work harder and fostered beneficial characteristics such as being determined, focused, and diligent. By being competitive, I would try my best to reach my goals and be the best I could be.

Now that I am older, I know that being competitive isn’t as positive as I once thought it was. As a teacher, I see explicit competitiveness with my students. They ask each other about their marks, mostly when receiving back a test or assignment. It breaks my heart when I see some students sink back into their seats after comparing themselves to each other. For adults, competition is more implicit, especially through social media. We like to try to “one up” each other through our Facebook and Instagram posts, of course only through showing carefully chosen pictures. The problem is that competition fuelled by jealousy is unproductive and damaging to your self esteem. I need to take my own advice and stop comparing myself to others. I should only focus on improving myself by my own standards, not those of other Instagram bloggers. I will never be them, nor would I totally want to be. I have to be not just satisfied, but happy with who I am and the life I live. It’s dangerous to think too much about the “I wishes” and be envious of others. This attitude will only leave one feeling disappointed and unfulfilled.

In the end, a little bit of competition can be healthy if it helps you reach your personal goals, but you don’t have to be the best at everything. My advice is to celebrate your accomplishments and just be happy and do what you love. Don’t let what others are doing bring you down. Instead, be proud of who you are and remember that empowered women empower women. Life is just too short to be in a never-ending competition.

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Philosophy

Four years.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

Four years ago my husband and I said “I do” and tied the knot. It seems like just yesterday we were busy planning our wedding and European honeymoon. Though we’ve been together for 15 years (yes, we’re high school sweethearts!) our love still feels fresh, new, and exciting. What’s the secret? He’s more than just my companion or my partner in crime; there’s no one I’d rather spend my time with. We enjoy the same things, whether it’s science fiction, rock music, or watching Twin Peaks. I agree with Friedrich Nietzsche who said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages” for I know first hand that true love is real, and it’s when you’re in love with your best friend.

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Happy Anniversary, Brandon! I love you!

Photography by Brandon Scott

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Philosophy

On Change.

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Change can be sudden. Change can be gradual. Change can positive. Change can be negative. We encounter changes throughout our lives in a multitude of ways. Over a month ago I received exciting news, that I was going to be starting a new adventure at a different high school in September as a drama teacher in an enriched creative arts program. I thought that change was certainly coming my way. I would have been leaving the high school where I started my career and developed as an educator over the past nine years. I would have also been leaving the Philosophy course I admire so much. But I thought that sometimes change is necessary. Change allows for growth and reflection. In my case, I saw change as a fresh start, a new beginning. When the job was posted, I had to follow my heart and apply. Though the change would have been terrifying, I had to take a chance. I knew that if I didn’t take a chance, I would have regretted it. We are naturally creatures of habit, and any change, whether big or small, can be scary due to uncertainty. But change, if anything, is inevitable, and I think that in my case, it was positive because I was in control of the change.

Fast forward to today, and the position I was appointed to is no longer available due to a mountain of issues that I won’t go into detail here. It almost feels strange that I was so excited for the change, and now it’s not coming. It did, however, make me think about change in general. I believe that if we were to embrace change more, we would be able to get more out of it. As I mentioned earlier, I referred to my anticipated change as an adventure. It would have been a new chapter in the book of my life. It wouldn’t have been easy, but if it was, I don’t think I would be able to gain much from the experience. I’m looking forward to teaching grade 10 Canadian History next year, though it isn’t the change I was initially hoping for. I also plan on starting a Philosophy club and I’m passing the torch as teacher facilitator of our school’s Gay-Stright Alliance. Not only that, but I’m moving out of the portable into a new classroom. I definitely plan on making the most of these small changes. There will be some preparation on my part over the summer, but I’m up for the challenge. Time may change me, but I can’t trace time.

Goodbye portable! It’s been swell!

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Philosophy

On the self and others.

“I think, therefore I am.” – Rene Descartes

I recently attended a concert (Cloud Nothings – be sure to check them out), and while waiting for the show to start, I let my eyes wonder around the venue. There were so many people. Though it certainly wasn’t the biggest crowd I had witnessed, it still made me think about all the individuals crowded into this one space. Who were these people? What brought them to this concert? What do they do for work? Where do they live? Questions such as those filled my head as I thought about how each person has their own life, their own story that I would never know. Solipsism is the belief that nothing exists outside one’s own mind. I really felt that as I looked around that evening. I will never understand all those people, but only myself. And the same would go for them too – they would never know me. Our bodies could touch, even “know” each other in a dubious sense, but our minds could not.

Everyone has a story. Every. Single. Person. There are over seven billion people in the world, each an individual with a mind and a life they are living. To each person, their life and their story is the most important. We are so engulfed in our own lives that we rarely think about the billions of stories that are being lived out throughout the world. Now I’m not saying that we are all purely egotistical, as many people keep up with global news, and are charitable to those who are less fortunate than them. What I am talking about are individuals, not groups of people. I think that it’s fascinating, mind boggling, and even beautiful all at the same time. It forces me to become more aware of myself and the connection I have with others. I sometimes question who I am in this vast world and whether or not I even matter. But I do, and so do all the other people living their lives. As individuals, we have each won the lottery in the sense that we even exist. We have been given minds, which I think is the greatest gift of all. Our consciousness is what makes each of us who we are, and it continues to change and develop as we age and experience new things.

So next time you are in the crowd of people, whether it is at a concert, a demonstration, a shopping mall, or on vacation at a tourist destination, try thinking about all the people you see and consider the idea that they too have a life like you, though you’ll never know it, and they won’t know yours. I think part of being self aware is also being aware of others. Maybe if more people thought this way, we would actually become more altruistic, and our world a little more loving.