“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius
I entered the second trimester with a renewed sense of excitement, as my first trimester was filled with anxiety and shock. As I wrote in a previous post it was such a great experience sharing our big news with others. Little did I know, that from then onward, pretty much the rest of my pregnancy would be spent in isolation.
At the very beginning of March, news started spreading more rapidly about Covid-19. Brandon and I had booked our “babymoon” to Miami a couple months prior, and were looking forward to it so much, but we were now obviously rethinking it. It was also around this time that I got super sick with a cough and chest congestion. My family doctor told me to take a week off work, which I had never done before. During this week I also had my first appointment with my OB. At this time, Brandon was allowed to come with me. At the appointment, our doctor was able to show us the baby on a tiny ultrasound machine and answer any questions that we had. My concerns at that point were my back (I have scoliosis), mental health, exercise/diet, and whether or not we should cancel our trip. We left the appointment in pretty good spirits, but ultimately decided to cancel our vacation; we saw it as too big of a risk as there were (are still are) many unknowns about the effects of Covid on a fetus. To be honest, I was devastated about cancelling our trip because I saw it as the last time Brandon and I would be on vacation just the two of us, and was something I was obviously looking forward to. Literally two days later, the government announced that all schools would be closed the two weeks following March Break. The shit was really hitting the fan at this point. As we know, school never resumed in person. I never got to say goodbye to any of my students because I was still recovering from my sickness.
Looking back, the months that followed were almost a blur because they were very difficult emotionally. The isolation hit me hard. People told me that the second trimester is the best, but I couldn’t feel that way when I couldn’t go anywhere. I was miserable, constantly thinking about how all the joys I was supposed to experience had been taken away from me. I had to cancel my shower. I couldn’t get together with friends or family. All OB appointments now had to be attended alone. I wasn’t at work, sharing my journey with students and colleagues. I was in mourning for the loss of what was supposed to be a time of happiness and excitement. Not all was horrible though, as Brandon was allowed to come in at the last few minutes when I had my anatomy scan at 19 weeks. It was during this ultrasound that it was revealed to us that we were having a girl. I will never forget seeing Brandon’s face, as he was standing by my feet when we were told. It’s moments like that I have to remember, not the isolation and loneliness.
In order to be positive, I tried to keep myself occupied. I did a puzzle, created a slideshow of staff for our students, drew some sidewalk chalk art on our driveway, and started putting together the nursery. I needed to find distractions or else I would spiral into misery. This wasn’t always easy to do, but it definitely helped. When the weather got warmer, Brandon and I would go on walks in our neighbourhood, which was a good stress reliever.
My belly really popped at around 20/21 weeks. It’s funny because I thought I looked big then, and now I laugh! I was so naive! I continued to have OB appointments every four weeks. At these appointments, the doctor would weigh me, take my blood pressure, measure my belly, and listen to the heartbeat. At around 26 weeks, I had my glucose test, where I had to gulp down a super sweet orange drink and then have my blood taken an hour later. My results were great, with my iron and sugar levels being where they should be. I also continued to exercise regularly, doing kickboxing, rowing, and powerlifting, though my energy levels decreased at the very end of the trimester. Overall, I was very fortunate that the pregnancy itself was going smoothly, minus the heartburn.
I can’t really recall the very first time I felt the baby move, but it was definitely after 20 weeks. I was told at my anatomy scan that I have anterior placenta, which acts like a shock absorber. This meant that I wouldn’t feel movements as intensely. The first movements felt like little spasms, not the fluttering a lot of other people describe them as. The spasm feeling then turned into more of a bubbling sensation, then ultimately to what I can best describe as rolls/waves in my belly. For someone with anterior placenta, by the end of the second trimester I could really feel the baby move! She kicks, punches, shakes, rolls, squirms all at once! I do have to say, that feeling her move is simultaneously the weirdest and most wonderful thing in the world!
If there’s one word that could best describe my second trimester, it would have to be acceptance. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be pregnant during a pandemic. It is not easy to be so isolated all the time, but I had to tell myself it was the best thing for me to do for myself and the baby. As many of you are probably aware, I relied a lot on social media to share pictures of my growing bump, because it was pretty much my only communication with the outside world. This was the only thing I could do in attempt to share my pregnancy experiences with others. As much as a lot of things sucked, I had to deal with it; what else could I do? My one colleague said to me in a message, that I should think of this time as special, because me and the baby are going to have such an amazing bond, and I will always remember it was just the two of us for many days on end. I am so thankful for that sentiment, as it reminded me that we must make the most out of the circumstances we are in. A lot of the times this is easier said than done, but it is so important to keep positive. I am so grateful for Brandon who remained my number one supporter throughout everything, and who still is the one to bring my spirits up and tell me I’m strong. As the Beatles once sang, all you need is love.
