Archives for June 2018

On identity.

“In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.” – Erik Erikson

As I sit and type this, I feel angry, upset, anxious, and incredibly disappointed. I just received the news that I will not be teaching Philosophy next year due to union staffing regulations. While some may see my reaction as overdramatic, I certainly do not. I started the Philosophy course five years ago, and have been the only teacher at our school to teach it. It started as something I was interested in, but now it has become a huge part of my life, and most of all, my identity. I never claimed to be the best Philosophy teacher ever, nor the most knowledgeable. I didn’t major in Philosophy in university, but Drama in Education and Community and History. I was 17 years old when I chose what path I wanted to take in life, and though I do not regret the incredible education I received in my undergraduate, the 32 year old me probably wouldn’t have made all the same choices. If I were to go back to school, I would definitely pursue a degree in Philosophy. But that isn’t feasible in my life right now. So I read, and I educate myself. Being a Philosophy teacher has taught me more about myself than almost any other milestone I have gone through.

So what’s the point of me spilling out all this information? It all goes back to identity. As individuals, we change over time. Our interests, passions, and hobbies can be vastly reshaped during different periods in our lives. The 17 year old me is both similar and different to the 32 year old me. I still consider myself to be an altruistic person, and still love acting, rock music, and cats, but now I have a greater interest in fashion, travelling, powerlifting, and yes, philosophy. My identity has evolved. I think more now than I used to about life, death, and beauty. Maybe it’s the byproduct of aging, or the new goals that I continue to set for myself, but whatever the reason, it’s who I am today. By not teaching Philosophy, I feel like part of me is being stripped away. I find meaning in my life by discussing metaphysical and ethical views with my students. The lessons I developed for the course are, at least I think, the most engaging and creative ones I’ve ever made.

I now have to ask myself, what’s next? Seeing another person teach a course that I started and sustained absolutely breaks my heart. But I can’t let this affect my self identity. We are who we want to be. We can’t let others dictate how we identify. Whether I teach philosophy or not, I still must find it to be part of who I am. I will still be The Petite Philosopher, regardless of my teaching schedule, and I must keep reminding myself of that. I have the power to shape my own identity, and I can’t let politics and bureaucratic stipulations get in the way. One’s own self identity is possibly the only reality indubitably known and I certainly know that philosophy is, and will forever be, a part of mine.

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Fashion

Pretty in pink.

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” – Maya Angelou

I know that I have said it before, but I love how I live in such close proximity to Detroit, which is definitely one of the coolest cities in the midwest, and maybe the whole United States. But something I’m not sure I mentioned is how I also love living in Canada. When I was younger, I wanted to leave Windsor because I thought it was boring and uninspiring. I hear the same sentiments from my high school students today. But the older I got, the more I came to appreciate the city I was born and raised in. Windsor has its flaws (as does any city), but I love how multicultural it is, and how it’s small enough to know a lot of people. Recently I’ve even met some awesome local girl bosses doing amazing things for our city, and this made me very proud to be part of such a supportive community. So when I’m on the riverfront I certainly don’t look over to Detroit wishing I lived there, but consider myself lucky to have the view and to call Windsor my home.

Dress: Abercombie & Fitch. Bag: Mansur Gavriel. Shoes: Aldo. Sunglasses: Le Specs. Earrings: Forever 21. Bracelet: Wanderlust & Co (old, simliar here). Watch: Chanel. Lips: Marc Jacobs Infamous.

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Fashion

Flower power.

“Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” – Hans Christian Andersen

In the past I avoided midi dresses. For the most part, I felt they made me appear even shorter than I am because of the length. Slowly I have been warming up to this trend, and it’s because most midis end up being maxi dresses on me. Maxi dresses happen to be an even more challenging fit on my 5’1″ frame, and often alternations are necessary. I’d like to dub the best lengths for me to be “midaxi” as they are shorter than a maxi, longer than a midi. What drew me to this particular “midaxi” dress was its bold sunflower pattern. It’s both playful and elegant, and can be dressed up or down. Oh, and it has pockets, which is always an added bonus.

What is your preferred dress length? Be sure to share in the comments below!

Dress: Showpo. Shoes: Sam Edelman. Bag: Clare V. Earrings: Baublebar. Bracelet: Madewell. Watch: Chanel. Lips: MAC Chili.

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Philosophy

On fantasy.

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be very careful what we pretend to be.” – Kurt Vonnegut

The more I engage in social media, the more I become hypercritical of myself. Getting caught in a cycle of negative feelings related to comparing myself to others or how many likes or follows I get can be mentally exhausting. This led to a conversation I had with my husband, in which he made a very valid point about fantasy. When I take a look at the bloggers with the most followers, they’re travelling the world (what feels like nonstop), and are wearing designer clothes and accessories that are beyond what I can afford. Initially I thought my blog would attract readers because I’m a “real” person, but with a lack of followers I concluded that maybe I was wrong. What I think people want is this fantasy my husband spoke of. We rather look at things we can’t and might never have, rather than what is attainable. Why is that? Why can’t we be satisfied with what we have? Whether it’s looking at these bloggers, or reading a Hollywood gossip magazine, we fantasize as a form of escapism. We love to imagine ourselves living a life of luxury and can sometimes feel a sense of satisfaction living through someone’s carefully curated Instagram feed. Constantly being drawn to fantasies, however, can be detrimental. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and develop feelings of inadequacy. What I find particularly interesting is that when celebrities are dealing with personal issues, we derive pleasure from it. Their flaws make them seem more real and we feel superior when they fail. I think this makes the fantasy feel like it could be possible for us.

The human mind is an interesting thing. We can analyze and predict behaviour, but we can only truly know what’s going on inside our own heads. One person’s fantasy could be another’s nightmare. Like most things, fantasy is subjective. Though it can be fun to imagine, where does that truly get us? Sure, fantasies can motivate some people to achieve their goals, but at the same time I think it’s important to be realistic. I’m not saying that one should give up all hope or not bother, but consider that what we see are in fact fantasies. They aren’t entirely real and that’s the problem. The blogger who is constantly jet-setting the globe in Chanel, Louis Vuitton, and Prada? She’s mostly likely just as messed up as the rest of us, so why put her on a pedestal? I guess what I’m try to articulate is that we need to live out our own fantasies, not someone else’s. Though it can be fun and entertaining following the latest celebrity gossip or the blogger who seems to have an unlimited income, we need to enjoy what we do have instead of using up too much of our energy fantasizing about what we wish we could have.

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