On Tattoos.

“You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.” – George Bernard Shaw

Ever since I was in high school I wanted a tattoo. My sister got her first one when she was 18, and soon after gave me some good advice. She told me to print a picture of what I would want, and tape it onto the mirror in my bedroom. If I look in the mirror every day and not get tired of it, then the design is meant to be. I’m glad I followed her advice and didn’t jump the gun, because the picture I originally put on my mirror was of a Celtic cross. I would have definitely regretted getting that tattoo because it represents nothing of what I am today. But in the years that followed, I never got a tattoo. Though I would watch shows like Miami Ink constantly, I kept putting it off because of my fear of needles and the general permanency of them. This, however, changed when I turned 30. I kept thinking about it more and more, as I was only getting older, and would often find myself being open to receiving words of encouragement from my sister, friends, and acquaintances. But I still felt a sense of apprehension. 

This summer I decided that enough was enough, and I should just do it. After seeing a friend’s new tattoo, I started exploring different artists via Instagram. It was after endless scrolling that I saw something that spoke to me. The artist, CJ, based at Chronic Ink in Toronto, specializes in floral tattoos. I have never seen such feminine and delicate tattoos in my life. Without much hesitation, I booked an appointment. We had a phone consultation since I’m an out of town client, and I shared my idea of a peony and poppy on my inner forearm. I chose these two flowers because of what they represent; the peony symbolizes good health and fortune (in other words, a good life), and the poppy symbolizes death. Together they encapsulate my philosophical interests: life and death.

I’m not going to lie, I was super nervous about the tattooing experience. I HATE needles. But I am pleased to report that it really isn’t as painful as I anticipated. The artist really put me at ease, as did Brandon, who sat next to me the entire time. I would describe the feeling as a vibrating scratch with a bit of a burn. It did help, however, listening to music and closing my eyes.  Brandon kept suggesting I look as the artist was tattooing me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The tattooing took a little over two hours, with the outline done first, followed by the shading. When it was finished I was in absolute awe of how it looked. It was everything I imagined it to be and more!

For me, tattoos are about decorating your body with art – art that is symbolic of a particular moment in your life. My tattoo is now a permanent reminder of who I was when I got it, and it is also now part of my identity. I didn’t consider what my students would think or what I’d look like with it when I’m older, because for me, it doesn’t really matter. Getting this tattoo was one of the most independent decisions I have made, doing it for myself and no one else. More than ever, I felt I was taking complete ownership of my body. Whether a tattoo is meaningful or not, it still serves as a testament. Though I’ve only had the tattoo for a few weeks, it feels like it has always been a part of me. After all, I was only thinking about it for over 15 years!